I was like a see-saw for a good part of my life as a Christian woman. It would only take a small amount of force to swing my emotions up and down, with my actions following after.
I wrestle with feeling like a giant failure. Like I've fallen short and have not been a "good enough" friend, wife and Christian.
It’s embarrassing how easily I get jealous. And I’m not talking about the type of jealousy that revolves around my husband.
I have 5 specific books that have deeply influenced my heart, mind and walk with God. I think they could change your life.
On my daily commute to work, I listened to a podcast called, "What's It Like To Be Married To Me?" And the wheels started turning.
Lord, I know you can do all things. I just don’t know if You will do this thing.
In about a week, my husband and I will notch our second anniversary. Here are five of the biggest things that I learned during our newlywed years.
When someone caught my interest at 28, I found I did not have a grasp on what love really was.
However it shows up, the way it lies to me is always the same. Yet it's so easy to believe its lies. Even when they've been disproven time and time again.
I've got a confession to make: My husband and I speak a different language. At least, some days it seems like that.
When someone says, "I love you," to me, I expect the words to be supported by more than words. Love shows up every day in countless ways through unconditional, selfless, and kind actions--as well as a myriad of other attitudes described in 1 Corinthians 13. Were a person to say he or she loved me … Continue reading The Proof of Love
Growing up, friends seemed to pop up like daisies, showing up in my life with little or no help from me. Then I became an adult.
“'But please, please - won't you - can't you give me something that will cure Mother?' Up till then he had been looking at the Lion's great feet and the huge claws on them; now, in his despair, he looked up at its face. What he saw surprised him as much as anything in his … Continue reading The Best Stories Tell The Truth
We all feel like failures sometimes. Like we don't know what we're doing or how to do it well. Like we're letting people down or screwing up everything we do. Like we're just not "good enough." Well, frankly, nobody is "good enough." And nobody is as perfect as he or she may seem from the … Continue reading You Aren’t Alone In Your Failure
The beauty is undeniable. Heartbreakingly, awe-strikingly undeniable. But the pain is still there.
It's a dance I've done a million times, both as a leader and a follower. But I'm tired of this waltz. And frankly, I won't do it anymore.
Think of these tips as providing a breath of relief and a glimpse of hope when life gets hard.
The truth is, sometimes you know in your mind God is good, but your heart struggles to understand how He could love you and allow the pain.
If I could give one piece of relationship advice, it would be to be honest. But honesty is not simply saying whatever pops into your head. What it really entails is admitting what’s behind surface emotions, and reactions of anger and irritation. It means digging into the hurts and pain within the heart. It means … Continue reading Honesty Is My Only Policy
Passions are liken'd best to floods and streams: The shallow murmur, but the deep are dumb; So, when affection yields discourse, it seems The bottom is but shallow whence they come. They that are rich in words, in words discover That they are poor in that which makes a lover. -Sir Walter Raleigh I stumbled … Continue reading I Want To Be Dumb In 2018
"You seem perfect," said someone to me recently, "Like you've really got it all together." Cue shock and amazement that my lil' old self can EVER come off that way, even for a short period of time. In fact, 50% of the time I feel like a gigantic mess of a human being. It used … Continue reading When You Know You’re A Mess (And It’s OK)
When someone says, "I love you," we expect the words to be supported by action. Love is unconditional, selfless, kind and a myriad of other things described in 1 Corinthians 13. Were this person to say those words and then act in such a way that harms, disregards or hurts the object of love, we … Continue reading Remembering How To Love
Beauty cries out to me. She beckons my attention in a noisy and crowded world where I too quickly grow numb, distracted, detached. I blame it on my eyes; they spoil me. For their powerful function allows me to look and look and look--without requiring me to see or notice or appreciate. This is my quest. To notice. … Continue reading The Stubborn Strength of Beauty
This morning, I woke up depressed. Before I had even opened my eyes, I felt crushed by disappointments, exhaustion and the general weight of daily responsibilities. These are the moments where I choose. I choose to lean in and deal with whatever is going on inside of my heart and mind. Or I choose to … Continue reading When I Want Run
Do you see my idols? I do not worship the pagan gods of old with their gold overlays and silver adornments. Nothing so ridiculous as that. Instead, my idols come neatly-wrapped in culturally-appropriate packages. Hard to recognize, yet insidious all the same. Emotions, Productivity and Validation boast well-used altars which have been dismantled and rebuilt, … Continue reading In the Shadow of My Idols
Truthfully, I simply don't know where the line is between enjoying the comforts God has given me with a grateful heart, and living a numbed, comfort-driven life.
My heart awakens to every new day like a dormant coal. Its blackened, hard nature needs much assistance to fan into flame and renew a pursuit of the Lord.
“Lord, show me the plank in my eye.” That was me not too long ago, praying in my kitchen out of desperation.
Almost right up until to our wedding day, I struggled with anxiety about the future. I never reached a moment of perfect, unending certainty that my husband was the person I was meant to marry.