Dear insecurities,

All right. I’ve had it with you. That’s right. YOU. In the corner of my mind. WHISPERING NONSENSE. I think it’s safe to say I am SICK and TIRED of the way you, not-really-so-dear insecurities, have run my life. THE TIME HAS COME for you to be thrown out of the nooks and crannies of my mind so that I can live in BLISSFUL FREEDOM. This time around, I’m telling you to STEP OFF for reals. I’ve got a list of five ways to keep insecurities at bay. Ain’t no way they’re ready for this.

NO. 1: Tell yourself the TRUTH.

No, self, you’re not the ugliest girl in the world. Nor the most unloveable. You’ve actually got quite a few good qualities. Plus, there’s LOADS of stuff God says about who you are in the Bible. And none of it is this CRAP your insecurities are spewing. In fact, you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” So, insecurities, take your just-plain-mean words and thoughts and SHOVE IT.

NO. 2: OWN your insecurities.

Yeah, yeah. Self, this may seem counterintuitive. You’re supposed to TELL yourself the truth, but then own your insecurities. How the heck does that work? LET ME TELL YOU. Learn to name and identify those lies you whisper to yourself, the ones that you believe DEEP, DEEP, DEEP DOWN INSIDE. Once you can get to the nitty gritty of what they are–and even better, why they may be there–your mind will be BLOWN as you see how those stupid little whispers have been affecting your WHOLE LIFE, including all of your relationships. Sure, you can’t MAGICALLY MELT away insecurities like they’re the Wicked Witch of the West. But recognizing them for what they are can RADICALLY CHANGE how you respond to people. Because even when you FEEL your insecurities rising like BILE IN YOUR SOUL, your mind can be running a rational, counteracting dialogue. So instead of SCREAMING and KIRKING OUT, you may actually be able to extend grace and do NO. 3.

NO. 3: SHARE YOUR INSECURITIES.

Fasten your seatbelts, people, because this is DIFFICULT LIKE WHOA. The mere thought of sharing my insecurities with others makes me want to FLEE ACROSS STATE LINES. It’s not easy, and it’s not fun. But if we’re going to be in real relationships with each other, both of the romantic and friendship nature, we’ve got to do this. And honestly, SPEWING your deepest INSECURITIES to people you can trust does something incredibly amazing: It removes some of their power (trust me! I have DONE this). When you force the words out of your mouth to a trusted loved one, he or she can tell you the truth: It’s all LIES, all that crap you’ve been thinking about yourself. And on top of that, your loved one can now better understand trigger points or why you may react certain ways. Sure, that doesn’t excuse any of your CRAZY TIME behavior. But it does present an opportunity for more grace and understanding within a relationship, and that’s something all of us need more of most days.

NO. 4: Tell your insecurities to STEP OFF (use stronger language if necessary).

There are days when I have gone through Nos. 1-3, and I’m still struggling mightily. Finally, something breaks in me. It’s like an inner superhero yelling, “NO MOREEEEE!” Suddenly, I’m pissed. Sick to DEATH of the fact that I’ve allowed my insecurities to RUN MY FRIGGEN’ LIFE and dictate my actions and reactions. And so out of the depths bubbles obscenities in my anger toward my insecurities. This is surprisingly helpful (or, at least, has been to this crazy girl) to push back the lies. Sure, I tend to veer toward the EXTREME to illustrate my frustration. But feel free to use less-colorful language. I think screaming “STEP OFF, INSECURITIES!” should have the same effect. Plus, you’ll get a fun flashback to the 1990s, or whenever that phrase was a thing.

NO. 5: PRAY.

OK. So this is really something that should be happening in Nos. 1-4. It’s important to remember that we need God to even keep breathing, so we definitely need Him to help us tell insecurities to STEP OFF. It is only through His incredible strength that we can TELL ourselves the truth, OWN our insecurities, SHARE our insecurities and KIRK OUT on them, too. He has to be involved in the whole BIG OL’ MESSY PROCESS. Coming to Him in humility and awareness of your need opens up an even deeper intimacy within your relationship. Plus, He can fight a large part of this battle for you (trust me, I know).

So there you have it, insecurities. These are the five ways I am going to CONQUER YOU; or at the very least, BEAT you into some kind of submission. See, you don’t run my life. Or at least, you don’t anymore. And just to prove that your WHISPERS don’t rule me any longer, insecurities, I’m posting a photo of myself right before I go to bed.

So, not-really-dear-insecurities, we are DONE. I wouldn’t come ’round these parts again. That is, unless you want to hear me spew some strong language. Or scream a 1990s catchphrase at you.