Dear comparison,

YOU ARE THE WORST. OK. I’ve composed myself. I DO NOT LIKE YOU. I’m sorry. I had another outburst. Really, though, you are just one incredibly unhelpful creature. And you know what? I’m durned sick of you (so sick of you that I spelled “DURN” instead of “DARN”).


It’s really your fault, Comparison. All I have to do is think of one thing that I believe I am relatively good at and BAM. You bring to mind someone who is “better,” either in some intangible–or yes, possibly tangible–way. And that, of course, means I should just COWER in a corner and not even BOTHER.


Or new situation: Perhaps, Comparison, I am proud of myself for going to the gym instead of WALLOWING IN DESPAIR. Then I log into any number of social media sites and immediately, BAM, I am dashed to pieces by CLEARLY PERFECT PERSON NO. 23849237 who solved world hunger as I was fighting my depression at the gym. BOOOO, Comparison. BOOOO.


I would like to say that I could shoo you away like a pesky bug. Actually, wait, I don’t shoo bugs away. I MURDER THEM SO THEY DON’T RETURN. Sorry. Sidetracked there. ANYways. I want to shoo you away, Comparison, but you keep popping up. Sometimes social media is your mode of transport. But other times, you simply rear your ugly head while I’m at the grocery store or the park. For some reason, Comparison, you keep telling me with COMPLETE CONFIDENCE that everyone is better than me at EVERYTHING, including LIFE IN GENERAL (again, the point being that I should, of course, GIVE UP FOR ALL TIMES). In the words of Liz Lemon, BLERGH.


I’ve reached my limit with you, Comparison. Two years shy of 30, I’m calling APPLES and ORANGES. You remember, Comparison. I did this once before back in high school when I realized comparing myself to my incredibly beautiful and wonderful best friend was a terrible idea. Because frankly, Comparison, you are POINTLESS. And USELESS. All of us are CREATED amazingly different (like the different fruits, ya get it? YA GET IT?!?), with varied personalities and backstories and hopes and dreams. That is what makes this world so durn INTERESTING.


Therefore, I have decided to stop calling you up, Comparison, when I encounter people with great talents and lots to offer. Instead, I will utilize this good ol’ thing called “ENCOURAGEMENT.” See, at the end of the day, someone else’s talents do not diminish my own. Another woman’s beauty doesn’t detract from mine. The accomplishments of a friend don’t minimize mine, even if they seem smaller.


I know you will pop up again, Comparison, whispering NONSENSE and MALARKEY alongside my insecurities. But I’m going to start shaking it off just like that Taylor Swift song I can never get out of my head. I can’t be THAT person. I can’t accomplish HIS or HER dreams. I won’t ever be HER version of beautiful. I can only live faithfully in what was given to me. That’s right, Comparison. You no longer have the right to tear me down.


For who knows what my type of beauty and my manifestation of a certain talent and my seemingly small accomplishments may achieve in this world? I may not change the course of history. But I may change the course of one person’s life. Isn’t that enough for me to allow myself to just be who I am (in submission to the Holy Spirit, of course)? THE ANSWER IS YES.


So, Comparison, I’m writing you off. I’m taking you out of the equation. I’m pulling your plug. Instead, I’ll choose JOY and ENCOURAGEMENT when looking at the accomplishments, talents and beauty of others. After all, it’s apples and oranges.


And who knows? Someone may have been comparing his or her apples to my oranges while I was envying their fruit. It’s time for me to OH DEAR GOD (literally) STAHHHPP and live as the person I am called to be.


Comparison, there’s no DURN place for you here anymore. In other words, I’ll keep my oranges, thank you.

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